


Not According to Plan

by dapperghost



Category: Wander Over Yonder
Genre: Anxiety, Hurt/Comfort, Other, Panic Attacks, but if u wanna see it as shippy u can, more hurt/comfort, not really shippy tbh?, set after My Fair Hatey, up to you rly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-18
Updated: 2016-03-18
Packaged: 2018-05-27 09:35:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6279232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dapperghost/pseuds/dapperghost
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, the enemy of your enemy can be your friend. And it can happen at the most unexpected of times.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not According to Plan

**Author's Note:**

> This was an idea I had after I got into the fandom more. Again it's not as much shippy as it is like...hurt/comfort sorta thing? It's also kinda...partially a vent fic in that I based it off my own experiences with panic attacks and stuff so uh...yeah. Story is set after My Fair Hatey.

It was late at night. You were pacing your room, the design plans for the Frostonium laser laid out before you. The mission had gone awry. Everything that could’ve went wrong did, and then some. Of course it would. It was Dominator. Things always went wrong when she was involved. But you couldn’t help feeling as though you should’ve done something more. Always something more. 

Trying. Working. Building. Planning. It was always up to you to fix everything. And you failed. Time and time again you failed, and this time wasn’t any different. You should’ve known. You should’ve calculated for this set of events. But you didn’t. And now she had ice powers and Hater had a broken heart. Sure you thought that he deserved better (like you), but he never deserved that level of rejection. All you wanted to do was make her pay, but even then you knew that you would fail again. A failure. That’s what you were.

And then it began again. Your mind started racing, reminding you of all the mess-ups, the screw-ups, everything you ever did wrong. Your heart started beating faster, and against your will, tears started to fall. Everything was caving in. You felt like you were suffocating, as the words failure, screw-up, useless, ran through your mind at breakneck speeds. The pacing stopped, and you were left frozen to the spot. 

This happened more than you were willing to admit. You never let Hater see, even though he wouldn’t care if he did. It happened late at night, always. Every mission, every plan that went wrong would flash through your mind and you would fall apart. You would fall apart quietly, in the confines of your own quarters. Luckily, you didn’t have to share like the other watchdogs, so nobody would see you. They wouldn’t have to watch their commander collapse before their eye. 

And yet it hurt. You were terrified and alone and panicking with nobody around to comfort you. Then again, watchdogs weren’t supposed to need comfort. Especially not the commander. That’s why Hater put you in this position. Because you were smart, calculating, always keeping a somewhat level head. Okay maybe that last part wasn’t so true. You had your...fair share of tantrums. Still though. This shouldn’t be happening. You were better than this.

But...you weren’t. Things were falling apart even though everything had stopped. You couldn’t breathe, and you felt more alone than ever. How was it you could pick up the broken pieces of your leader, but you couldn’t even fix yourself? Grop, what an embarrassment. Hater would be ashamed if he knew how useless you really were. 

And that’s why he would never know. That’s why, every night, you would fall apart, all alone, with nobody to turn to. And that’s why, every morning, you would pick up the broken pieces of yourself and begin the day as if nothing had happened. As if you didn’t panic every single night, wondering if today was going to be the day the universe was obliterated. As if you didn’t constantly remind yourself how much you had failed, and how much you were easily replaceable. As if you didn’t constantly wonder what could of been, and what you could have done better. 

You were fine. That’s all they needed to know. And yet, you couldn’t help but wish someone was here to help. You couldn’t help but wish someone was here to save you from yourself. You felt trapped, with no escape. You should be used to this by now. But...you weren’t. You doubted you could ever get used to...this. Not like it mattered. Nobody cared, anyways. The other watchdogs hated you, Hater barely acknowledged you, and it’s not like anyone else even knew you existed. 

At that very moment, the door to your quarters was opened. In a moment of sheer panic, you dove under the covers of your bed, still hyperventilating, still shaking. You managed out a shaky, “Go away, please,” before you were drowning again. 

An all too familiar voice spoke up, as a weight sat beside you on the bed. “Is that really what you want though, Mister Peepers?” 

You nearly choked, but less out of anger and more out of surprise. “W-wander? Wh-what are you doing here? Shouldn’t...Shouldn’t you be bothering...Lord Hater?” 

“Nah. He needs his space right now, I think. Plus, you managed to cheer him up awfully good. At least from what I could tell. I think somebody else needs my help right about now.” 

“And...who...who might that be?” You managed to choke out, knowing fully well who he meant. A part of you wanted to deny it. The enemy, helping you? Then again, lately Wander and Sylvia had become more allies than enemies at this point. 

“Why, you, of course! I mean, unless you don’t...want my help? I can’t really...force it on ya,” He stated. He seemed...unsure. That was new. 

You managed to poke your head out of your blanket tent, glancing at him. You probably looked like a mess, but that never stopped Wander before in the ways of helping people. “But...but what about that...Zbornak friend of yours? Sylava or whatever?” You knew perfectly well what her name was. But hell if you were gonna share that with him. Your breath was still coming in little gasps, and it was hard for you to focus on him rather than the panic filling your brain. 

“Aw, Sylvia? She’ll be fine. She’s sleepin’ like a baby! All tuckered out after that whole fiasco,” he chattered, before frowning again. “So...do you want me to leave? Cuz I can if ya need me to…” 

“No...stay,” you stated firmly. Against your better judgement, you grabbed his arm, just to make sure he didn’t leave. 

“Alrighty then...if you say so.” 

And with that, his arms came to wrap around your blanket clad form. However, he left enough room for you to reject his embrace if you wanted to. You didn’t. 

You were still shaking and hyperventilating, and you were pretty sure he noticed. If he did though, he didn’t mention it. Instead, he held you tighter, breathing slowly and deeply. It worked, and you started to calm down some. Your breathing began to match his, and you felt...safe. For the first time in your entire existence, you actually felt...safe. It was strange, but not unwelcome in the slightest. 

“Feelin’ better?” Wander asked, softly. That was...also different. 

You just nodded, taking a deep breath. “Thanks...I owe you one.” 

“Aw, you don’t gotta owe me nothin! I’m just helpin’ a friend in need.”

“We’re not friends,” you mutter, although it lacked any force behind it. You were starting to doubt that.

“Well, I better get goin’. Don’t want Sylvia wakin’ up and wondering where I disappeared off to. Heavens knows she’s got enough ta worry about. Also, if you ever need help again, just gimme a call.” And with a tip of his big, green hat, he was gone. 

You blinked, suddenly unsure if what just happened was a dream or not. Glancing around your room, you sighed, slightly disappointed. No sign of him being here. A part of you wished it had been real, if only for the fact of knowing you had someone who cared about you. Although, the other part, the logical one, was glad it wasn’t real. It would be an act of treason, allowing the enemy to help you. 

And yet, you felt calmer, and safer. As if someone really did care about you. It was then you noticed the tiny, star shaped remote in the palm of your hand. Later that night, you fell asleep peacefully, to the notion that maybe Wander wasn’t all that bad. Maybe he could even be, dare you say it, a friend.


End file.
